There is nothing more to do

there is basically nothing i can do to heal my pain. waking up in tears a a norm. i know he dun care but I do. I hope he is really happy.

I miss him

its so hard for me to stop thinking of him. although he really sux but my entire heart belong to him. i cant find any joy doing anything without him

The mgs that i didnt send out

[19/08, 09:02] Serendipity: I was packing ur things... I can't help feeling super sad... I saw ur morten birthday cert... I saw the book we bought for bcn I saw the lv boxes that u kept... I bought u the present when I was so poor n not earning. I saw the knifes u love... thanks for everything. You have been a wonderful laogong to me while we r together. I love spending time with u... sitting beside u while u game. I m gonna miss all these I guess. I saw the receipts... when we plan for ah soo we go ard looking for things that fits our taste. I love the light above our bed. I love our dinning light. . Love the table n the chair. I love my closet. But I know they will have new owner soon and I wish u best [19/08, 09:11] Serendipity: Maybe to u I m just another gal but to me u r my everything. I will not let u be worried abt me. I will pick someone that will treat me good. I hope ur next gf will also be super nice to u n embrace ur bad temper.

Time will heal

The pain is excruciating but i know i m better then yesterday. My point pointed out how lousy a person is he in so many points. Love is indeed blind. I m going to focused to be a better me. He left me when I m totally caught off guarded n claim it was amicable. He enjoy the attention ppl give him on his social media. Let him be. I will prove to him that he is not my last dying hope to have another guy. He felt so mighty as if he is the only one on earth. I gave in, I compromised, I forgive is not because there is no one else. The reason is because I love him whole heartedly. But reality is no point being with someone that abuse me n my dog all the times. I m moving on!

Serendipity

I am so done crying ... my heart breaks but who care. The excruciating pain is beyond words. Amicable break up to him means it's 1 sided. I have no say coz he decided n all I have to do is to agree

Silly things make me happy

:)

Pms

Today I m really moody. .. time of the month... but u can just make me smile... sooo effortlessly ")

My love my bff

We talk about everything... we shares tones of common interest. .. I love shopping with him.. having good food... nice wine... popping champagne. .. but most importantly. .. we never judge one another for who we are...

I love Japan

Japan has always been one of my fav city. .. but this trip ... I really have loads of fun... to explore those little lanes with cool boutiques ... coffee in a nice cafe and its the 1st time I went to toyko hands.... a really interesting place to be in..

I miss pastor kong

I m watching a Korean show called pasta.. The male lead somehow resemblance my church Pastor Kong.. I miss church .. I miss Pastor.. I think I should go back church soon .. I stop going ever since the embezzle issue occurred .. But I really miss the place that grow up with me.. :(

I still love my church

It suck to see my church being feature as the front page headline in every local paper.. It is a place I grow up n I have spent half my life there.. It is the place that groom me to be who I m today.. Despite of all the negative reports on the paper.. I can't deny all these fact.. If not for the church, I m just another lost soul on the street.. My pastor is like my parent.. Guide me in darkness.. Share my joy n laugh with me.. I love my family.. But everyone now is telling me horrible fact abt my family ... The family that I adore all these while.. How do u think I should react? U dun give up on ur family this easily.. The bond aren't build overnight.. It's over a long period of time.. I won't walk away just like that.. In fact my faith should be stronger than ever.. God please give me strength.. I need positive vibes n people ard me.. All the negative remarks are pulling me down..

Suffering

Y do I need to go thru the same kind of suffering every mth... Cramp !!!

God is kind

When the whole world turn against me.. And disappoint me.. God never once failed me.. He surprised me with wonderful news.. Nice supportive friends and most importantly the strength to move on.. :)

I love this song

t

I miss him

I miss u badly

Baby... Thou I know u r in a better place now.. But I miss you badly... I miss ur forever hungry look... I miss curdling u... I miss playing with u... That day when I saw mum putting food in ur bowl.. I tot u were back.. How I wish all these were just a nightmare and when I wake up u are right beside me... I regretted leaving u alone to go for my flight... I really tot u are getting better.. If not I will never go... Going home these day is such a pain... Everything in the house remind me of u... I m really moving out... Dun worry.. I will bring u along with me.. Mummy will never leave u alone... I will pack all ur fav toys.. Please let me dream of u... I really miss u alot alot.. :.........(

:.....(

I miss u soooo much.... I can't stop tearing... Baby... Mummy really miss u alot...

13 Aug 2011 @ 2.20a.m

Baby,

Thank u for the 11 wonderful years that u have spent when me... Although I greedily wish it can be longer.. But I m grateful enough.. U have been an excellent dog.. A wonderful family member.. U are the bridge between mum n me.. U bring joy and fun to the house.. U are the motivation and the reason I come back home... U are the first one I knowledge when I m back.. And the last one when I left home... I m so used to having u sleep by me day and night.. I love u with my all my heart and soul.. I miss sharing all my food with u.. I miss kissing u to sleep... I miss playing ur toys with u.. I miss dressing u up... I miss reading u books.. I miss u waiting outside the bathroom until i finished my shower.. I miss u staying close to me when i dress up.. U were always there when I m going thru the toughest time of my life.. U took care of me when I m sick.. U stay by my side day and night when I m running a fever.. Even when u went to pee.. U hurried back to check that I m fine.. U accompany me thru so many heartbreaking moments.. But this time.. Should anything happened.. I know u are still with me.. Cause u will live in my heart forever... Although it's really really hard for me to let u go.. But I know u are in a better place now.. All the angels will take care of u.. And you will be watching over me in heaven.. Thou I really wish that u had wait for me to come back to see u for the last time.. But it's oki.. I understand .. U did tried.. No matter wad happened... I love u and u live in my heart forever..

Yours sincerely,
Mummy

Who cares

I m worried abt ppl and dog in pain.. But who actually cares about me.. How painful I m?? Despite feeling so emotionally weak now... I have to smile to my pax as if nothing had happened.. Just in another few hours time... I have to put on a strong front n pretend I can go thru this alone... I dunno how long I can hold my pain.. How much more tears left for me to cry... Just let all these bad times and setbacks moves as fast as possible... I have enough character for now... Dun need to build anymore ... Coz I dun think I can hold much longer.. Bless me ... Pray for me for strength...

Let go

It seem that the result today is very bad... I have decided to let her go... But I will be back to see her for the last time..